There better be beer

Yeah... I guess a drunk chick with a sub 90 IQ selling a house is more
important than the chief justice... or the middle east... you know...

GODDAMN CHUBACABRA EATIN MY SHEEP!!!

Glowy-eyed dogs trump Conservative Chief Justice?
What's tomorrow's story? Lasercats?

Attention white people! Be afraid of black people!

This is headline news for Fox because no white man has EVER killed his
wife EVER.

You'd think playing up something good in Iraq would trump BS racial profiling headlines... but no... not for fox... cause they're classy.

mmmm Condom-mints

BIG AMERICANS DRIVE BIG CARS!!!
BIG CARS DRIVE TO BIG HAMBURGER JOINTS!!
BIG HAMBURGERS NEED LOTS OF KETCHUP!!!
AMERICA!!!!!!!

July 27-Has the whole world gone loopy?

RAD! Drunk Astronauts!
HOLY S*** ITS THE CHICKEN PETER GRIFFEN FOUGHT!

I'm a dog person myself

GET THAT F***ING CAT AWAY FROM ME!!!!!

It's a good movie... but I don't think it applies here.

Support the war!! Or George C. Scott will slap the shit out of you!!!

The judges were probably bleeding-heart liberals

All the headlines today are about death.

July 23- DRUGGGSSSSSS

Dude... with that much money... you could like... make a chair out of it... and then
smoke meth in the chair... dude....

July 22- Apparently the gateway is more of a door for these people.

Jokes on you!!!

No air-conditioned dog houses where you're going unfortunately. ROFL!!!

She heard boom?-July 20

Did her dad's head explode or something?

Bad Girls!!! Filthy, Dirty, Naughty... Sinful... girls...

Wait... let me get this straight... WHITE girls in trouble with the law?
I've never heard of such a thing!! FOX, you bring me something new everyday.
What will you find tomorrow? Suburban youth smoking the Marriage-a-wana?

Money Money.... MOOONNNNEEEY!!!!

Unless the plane crashed into that pile of money,
I'm pretty sure Fox chose the wrong story to lead with today.

Apparently Jesus rose from the dead... and went to the gym.

Is that Jesus or did Chris Benoit rise from the dead to
save our souls?

PAAARRRTTTYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Earthquakes? Dead Russians and Israel? Who cares! I wanna see some
TIITTTTTIIIEESSSSSS!!!!!

You can't hug your children with Nuclear arms.

Hmm... if he has P.T.S.D. that must make him... A TERRORIST!!!!
Oh yeah North Korea complied with some agreement or some shit.

July 13

Why hasn't Fox won more awards for its hard hitting Journalism?

July 12

Iraq... something something lebanon... FACEBOOK VA-JAY-JAY!!!

Too bad

I missed the Fox headline before this about Hillary Clinton's lesbian lover

Too bad about Lady Bird, This is the first real news Fox has reported in over a week!

1 tweakin child >= drawn-out country-destabilizing islamic siege

Hey Steve what's in the news today?
Oh the usual... something something global warming,
bla bla heat wave, president shirks the law, giant scary-ass siege...
HOLY SHIT A GIRL IN AMERICA IS ON DRUGS!!!!!

I just can't BEAR the mainstream media anymore!

We should have listened to the Germans who wanted to kill that baby bear.
Captured around 6:45am

Where's Crocodile Dundee when you need him?

Are they looking for gator lovers... or gator "lovers"?
Either seems plausible in the South.
Captured around 3:30pm

One of these things is not like the other!

Apparently crop circles trump dead Iraqis.
Does this make anyone else angry?
Captured around 3pm

Heston...Eat your heart out.

GUNS! F*** YEAH!
Captured around 5:15pm

MUST... COVER... HOT WHITE CHICK

Not as funny as previous days... but a crying white chick is always funny.
Captured around 7:15pm

FREEDOM w00t!!!!!!

Happy 4th of July everyone. Hard Hitting news all around. Captured around 12:15pm

The beginning

Welcome to my blog. A fun collection of headlines. Enjoy. Captured at 11:30pm