I guess thats why they call it the Red Sea... 'cause its on fire.

So you know how Fox always puts those BIG BOLD WHITE headlines on everything? I'll give a free banner to the top 3 (note: most clever) fake headlines for the Red Sea eruption today. Please leave your best headline and contact info in the comments section (If you don't want your contact info displayed please note that and I will edit it before publishing) Happy headlining!!! (Contest expires next Sunday at midnight)

STOOOOOOOOOOPPPP!!!!!!!

They should put one of those stop signs in front of the Burmese military. That would show them.

The Earth is about to expel some hot sticky fluid.

Perhaps they should toss the child molester in the Volcano? (Then help the Burmese monks?) Just a thought.

Misunderestimated indeed

YOU HAVE INSULTED THE UBER-LEADER!!!!!! Bush wouldn't carry a rifle on campus, he would pay someone to do it for him and then go do a coke line on the trunk of the presidential limo.

Note to Burmese government (Myanmar) DIAF

Everyone should start using this.

Swastikas a-plenty

Again... Fox runs a story about offensive things that are totally irrelevant if viewed from a normal angle. Sidenote... its time for some Burmese monks to throw down and beat ass.

Myanmar monks kick ass

Hey... here is a random idea. If you don't fly a plane over the field and then publish the photo on nationally available media... nobody would know it existed and the people that did it would have no avenue to spread their tard around.

No post for September 24

I apologize to my loyal readers. All 6 of you. I was indisposed on various projects yesterday.

Ahmadinejad comes to New York. Lets all fake umbrage together!!! HARUMPH!!!

Clearly the liberal media is out of control. Clearly liberals are out of control. If only we had a ministry to ensure freedom lovers were protected from the liberal horde... something to show that they were loved... and the liberals were hated... we could call it... the Ministry of Love.

UN Vows to do nothing

The UN has vowed to put a building in Iraq. From this building they will receive faxes from their head office in New York. Those faxes will contain the non-binding heavy scoldings Iraqi's deserve. The UN representatives will then read those scoldings to the Iraqi's over a loudspeaker... in english.

Why do people have to be assholes?

Columbine... sucks man.

Only the hated French!!!!

Denis Leary had a point when he said we only give a sh*t about the cute animals.

Its ok because Jesus forgives her.

Does the husband she gunned down get to start over... no... not really. Consequently some really important stuff happened in the middle east today... something about a bomb... I dunno it happens all the time, who has time to pay attention.

Did anyone see that movie "Evolution" with David Duchovny?

Uhhh... it was the ground... before a meteor hit it. Now its a mud hole.

Po-Po ZAO!!!! BITCH!!!!

Should they really be investigating a hit on K-fed? Shouldn't they just let nature take its course?
Sidenote... dont F*ck with France. They're just crazy enough to sic the Foreign Legion on your ass.

The Juice gets squeezed.

Crash into the ground and kill 87 foreign people...make the foreign news. Slash your estranged wife's neck open and stab her date to death, then get off scott free (or dress up like an ugo) make the American news.

(Sidenote to OJ Simpson... dude... all you had to do was sit back and relax until you died. You were a sports legend. You had EVERYTHING. You couldn't... I don't know... NOT murder two people?)

Thanks President Ford for... what exactly?

Dead Presidents that weren't elected and who didn't even get elected as Vice-President who didn't actually accomplish anything besides pardoning one of the most evil people to grace the oval office and having a drunk wife are now more important than a potentially crippling blow to the Iraq government, for which we have spent over $450 Billion. Its only more important if the presidents face is carved in corn though. Thats the condition.

In Soviet Russia, Chessboard plays you!

Never ever ever pass up an opportunity to make a Yakov Smirnoff joke.

Stoned taxi driver is our worst fear realized.

If that guy is a cold calm killer that is our worst fear... we are f*cking screwed. He looks like he should be standing in an unemployment office waiting to pass a drug test.

Way to defame the former president using the Guilt by Association fallacy? Fox is on it like white on rice.

Despite the fact that Clinton isn't even the nominee, and it was someone who donated a relatively small amount of money to the campaign, this is much more important than Iran, Iraq, or a devastating earthquake.

The guilt by association fallacy can be found here.

General David Petraeus' initials would be General DP... hehe general donkey punch

When the government sets up a room where a person is isolated and then systematically tortured over a period of days its called a detention facility. When a private citizen does it, they're considered legally insane.. hmmmmm....

(Sidenote: Why do none of the headlines acknowledge that today is the anniversary of the worst attack on US soil?)

Holy crip he's a crapple.

General Petraeus shows Congress how to hitch-hike indoors.

(Sorry to Kevin Everett... that seriously sucks... seriously. We all hope you walk again)

Oh no she didn't!!!!

She did it again... except this time she's a bloated syphilitic with a drug problem.

White girls kissing trophies

Brown people killing brown people or brown people voting = not news. Brown people killing white people, especially white people that are kissing trophies = 24 hour news coverage.

GI JOE!!!!! A Real...Amer.. uhhh.. International... peace keeping... role model for impressionable youth?

Because GI Joe was so realistic before. Laser battles where nobody ever died after they fought... that makes sense.

Bush: "We're kicking ass in Iraq"

Hehe... BBC said pull-out. That method doesn't work at all. I missed the Fox headline today about the spider-boat, for that I'm very very sorry, but today is a special day DOUBLE HEADLINE DAY!!!!
The above article is from CNN's political ticker which was found when browsing Fox, which had the same article, only linked to they Sydney Morning Herald. Are you sure Bushie? Are you sure you didn't clusterf*ck the sh*t out of this?
Iraq Coalition Casualties (The definitive non-partisan casualty site)

Iraq Body Count (About the closest and most accurate indicator for innocent civilians killed)

Cost of the War in Iraq

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To see more details, click here.

Behold the cost of the war... could have used that to pretty much cover all health care costs for everyone... oh wait... thats crazy.

Or the About.com article saying that the war costs $9 billion a month

Or the Boston Globe reporting the cost at roughly $2 billion a week

Or finally the Christian Science Monitor that says the war cost could top $2 Trillion F*cking dollars.

Who the F*ck knows, maybe every F*CKING journalist in the whole g*dd*mn world is a liberal communist rooting for "dem terr-rists" to win. Or... maybe a bunch of neo-conservative f*cktards decided to gang rape another country, idiotize their own country with propaganda and lies and at the same time pillage the f*cking treasure chest with their d*cks to satisfy a personal lust for power and control. God it feels good to finally say that. These rants wont come often, mostly it will just be the headlines. Have a great night.

New...Blue...Sue...Dew..Grew all words that rhyme with Hsu

I guess Fox news is right... one corrupt campaign contributor is much more sinister than one of the largest terror busts in recent history.

Steve Fosset-A billionaire who led a long and priviledged life has gone missing!!!! EVERYONE PANIC!!!!!

Just playing devils advocate here... but he left the kid in the car... would they have preferred he bring the child INTO the brothel? Just putting it out there.

Bush rapes an iraqi puppy to death in surprise visit.

Sorry, the news today is quite boring. NOW IS THE TIME WHEN WE DANCE!

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

HOW does Fox News pretend that its news? This picture headline was right next to a text headline, "Smelly Serial Rapist Returns?" Seriously... are they clinically retarded? Fox viewers who take them seriously deserve to be punched in the testicles (or ham-wallet).

CHUPACABRA!!!!!!! Oh... wait... its just a dog.

1st question... Why did she cut the dog's head off?
2nd question... Why is she claiming its the Chupacabra?