No more posts

I'm officially shutting down the blog. Nobody reads it.

That makes me a sad Panda

They could have named him Dirka Dirka Jihad bear.

I definitely would not buy that for $1

That bridge is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Bah

Another boring uninspired day.

It's 2007, all we have are suicide bombers, crappy toys, and sinking ships. Where are all the moon bases, genetically enhanced super-people and hover-cars. WTF.

Best headline in weeks

FOX: Pure unadulterated crap.

Bruised by Broccoli

Crushed by Cauliflower.

The world is a weird place.

America, home of taking a bad situation and making it worse.

Its self defense, stop protesting.

In most of these situations the cop only has seconds or even split-seconds to make a decision. It doesn't matter if someone nearby tells them that the person they're confronting isn't armed. If you're holding onto something and threaten an officer and then don't put whatever it is you have down, you're going to get shot. Its not racist, its not unfair.

SIMPSONS DID IT SIMPSONS DID IT!

Kids today have absolutely no hope of being normal.

Hot sweet alien love

So with alien sex... do you pretty much just find a hole and go to town on it? Oh yeah... something about a storm... killed hundreds... you know the usual. ALIEN SEX. Why doesn't fox just run this:

Good lord

Fox doesn't want to cover the earthquake... or the storm... or Bush?

Why did Britney have to go from:
$10,000 a night at the Ritz

to:


$15 behind an Arby's dumpster.

Christopher Walken, eat your heart out.

Please god let the prescription be cow bell.

Nobody gies a crap -Nov 13

Newsflash, nobody gives a crap where a dead 17 year old kid is. Yes dead. He's probably in a ditch somewhere with a heroin needle in his arm.

Sick: updates tomorrow.

The rural states... AKA Flyover Country

Ahhh the rural states... killing homosexuals and forcing teenage marriage since 1807.
Many people don't know, but in the future, America is a very different place. 4 separate countries in fact. I give you... FUTURE AMERICA!!!

Woops...

How do you explain a f*ck-up so big you flood San Francisco with crap?

Hopefully that Bush lands on a dick

I LIKE TO FUCK THINGS AND I SPIT WHEN IM EXCITED!!!!!!!

Must come down

Fox stoops to a new low in hard-hitting news. What else can you say.

Which one is fake? Fox or the kung-fu dogfight?
I'm serious... if anyone knows the origin of karate cat, please post it in the comments section.

That's what she said.

Wait... stop... wait... kids drink at college? No F&@#!(% WAY! GET OUT OF HERE! I'm going online right now to poke the girl that can fit two beer bottles in her mouth at the same time... giggity.
Two bottles at the same time... Fuckin' A.

Redneckistani celebration

Rednecks everywhere seen dropping Chinese toys into their date's drink. In real news...WTF is up with Georgia. For our Southern readers, the news is referring to this Georgia:
NOT this Georgia:

VOTE OR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahh the baby jesus. Who wouldn't vote for him? Lets do a side by side comparison to our current commander-in-chief:
As a sidenote... both are endorsed by Ted Haggard.

Hey Ted... that lei... its kinda...Gay?

Look at those big sexy brains

Gisele just got way hotter because she understands international currency valuation and knows she would just be selling herself short to be paid in dollars. God... what big sexy brains... she has some assets. Here is my take:

Lets wrap up with some gratuitous pictures of Gisele.

Giggity.Giggitier.

Giggitiest. I hope she rides that horse to the bank and cashes her check for a big fistful of European monopoly money.
Yeah... thats the stuff. At this point monopoly money probably trades higher than the U.S. Dollar.

Is it really a global mystery?

Lets be honest. Is the whole world really looking for a dead blond girl that looks like the bride of chucky? I'm guessing no.

Just going to venture a guess that the following things are more important than a dead child:
1) The crisis in Pakistan.
2) The Iraq war.
3) The war in Afghanistan.
4) Hugo Chavez turning Venezuela into a dictatorship.
5) The massive humanitarian crisis unfolding in Zimbabwe.
6) The ongoing conflict between Palestine and Israel.
7) The ongoing conflict between Israel and Syria.
8) North Korean nuclear weapons.
9) The consolidation of power by Vladimir Putin. (or pooty-poot if you're Bush)
10) 44 million Americans without health insurance in addition to the many millions more with ineffective health insurance.

You get the idea... just about anything is more important than a dead blond child.

5)

CAR CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pakistan What? Check out the international herald tribune... those are some funky astronauts. Here is a car crash from my hometown.

Sorry

No update for November 2nd. Sorry to the 4 people that view this blog.

TITTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fox News is waking up my downtown bonanza. Here is some porn to entertain everyone today.

Happy Halloween - How to spot BullS**t in the news.

Chances are if there is a ? in the headline, its total bull. News agencies use the ? as a cop-out so they can say something that isn't true.
Is Barack Obama a Gay Nazi-Loving Pedophile? The answer in the actual article will always be "No, but one guy who doesn't hold a degree in anything repeated a rumor he heard on Digg so we're reporting it as major headline news.

What else rules? manipulated images.
Aside from the fact that the above image is obviously doctored and tagged in the caption as "might look like" the article is actually referring to technology that is more like dynamic camouflage than a cloaking device. (Click the image to go to the actual article) The technology the article is referring to can be viewed below.

DONT EAT THAT CANDY!!!!!!!!

Fox is slipping.

Farewell...Red Ships of Spain.

LOLZ IM IN UR MOOVEEE STEELIN YUR FAETH!!

Yeah... because not believing in God is a bad thing. Atheists don't have to put up with anything... like door to door Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Islamic Fundamentalism, Bush, Liberty University, Trinity Broadcasting, The Christian Coalition, Focus on the Family, The Westboro Baptist Church, Pope Palpatine, insane Christian coworkers. Nope, God is fantastic, lets all have a big spoonful of God.

Care to join in Nietzsche?
GOD IS DEAD! Wait... so am I!

Housecleaning 101

Ahh, without the awesome headlines I was getting restless.
Hopefully Fox gets back to its usual antics. I need entertainment.

Booorrrrinng

Ever since the wildfires, Fox got boring.